i am not who i once was
and i'm almost hating who i am now
i've reached my weakest point
and i dont exactly know how

i am not who i once was
and there are days when i miss myself
the girl who used to make you happy
do you remember the feelings we felt?

i am not who i once was
you make me the woman i am today
and all i ask on this journey
is that you love me right, the entire fuckin way

all the way- up until.. the day love comes to an end
and at that point, maybe,
just maybe, i'll try and find myself again.

ruined puzzle

i'd rather wrap this rope around my neck and watch you be the death of me, but my mind keeps telling me im better than that. sometimes i'd rather say that i was wrong for everything, but this time my mind's got me on track. i'd rather pretend that we were perfect for each other, just like everyone else in our world. but when fightin comes a down to woofin, i'm convinced that you were meant for another girl. i'd rather not think about the day that ruined our happily ever after, but i cant help but replay it in my head over and over. why did it have to go so far?...your words were like bullets straight to my heart. but of course you would never know how it feels, i've never degraded you so hard that you couldn't heal. and thru it all i'd rather run back to u, but my heart runs for cover. now, at this very point, i need to love myself more than ever. because sometimes a girl forgets self love, when she's so very deep in love..and self love says i can do better.

with my pride put aside i'd rather tell you that i'm sorry,
but i cant bring myself to face you again.
i guess this is the end.

"They didn't sleep very much. Sometimes they dozed off and awakened and found that they were apart and came back to each other and held on another tight very tight as if they had been lost forever and had just found each other all over again."

_i kind of miss riding the bus all over the place.

but you can't always wait around for prince charming to save you. it only shows how pathetic you are, depending on a guy to justify your means of happiness. sometimes, you also need to learn how to let go for the better of your own being. to stick around a guy that treats you like shit thrown outside of a chinese restaraunt on the streets of new york just so that you can pitiably cling on to something that's no longer yours is degrading to your own identity. let the fuck go. you're stupid. and if the whole world is constantly telling you that you're too good for him, open your fucking eyes _ what an indirect message of telling you how stupidly attached you've become to some two-timing-lying-son-of-a-bitch. quit running to him for reassurance, just so he can affirm what? - that he's a completely innocent deceiving whore and everybody who looks out for your own well being is lying to you? get a grip.

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